'Those whom we cannot stand are usually those whom we cannot understand' — PK Shaw
Emotional Intelligence (EI) can be viewed as a trait and Mayer-Salovey-Caruso define it as 'the ability to perceive emotions, to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought, to understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and to reflect regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth’1.
The Universal Hierarchy of Motivation Report takes a typological approach to understanding Emotional Intelligence. It also uses different definitions for EQ and EI. EQ is defined as ‘How effectively we manage our feelings and handle our relationships’ whereas EI is defined here as ‘How comfortable and alert we are to our own feelings and those of others’. Using these definitions, EQ is a more superficial assessment of emotional ability/stability than is EI.
You most probably find that you can control many of your emotions, whether they are anger, sadness, passion, or some other emotion. You may well appear to many other people to readily congratulate or praise them, and they will most usually feel like you consistently treat them as individual and important people rather than as 'things'.
Most people are likely to consider you to be a very good listener and to feel that you treat people well. Most people will tend to believe that you are consistently encouraging, accommodating and 'values' oriented, and not critical, task focused or inappropriately or 'goal oriented'. Therefore many people may see you as approachable and find you very easy to be around.
People probably feel appreciated and understood by you, and there is very likely to be a strong sense that you consider the human side and care for living things. If you use humour then you probably find that people find it to be very constructive and positive, and believe that you readily laugh at yourself and with others. You may feel you are taken for granted or that you are sometimes taken advantage of by others.
You most likely share your feelings with others and commonly enquire about how they are feeling. You usually anticipate the needs of others or how they might feel. You are probably very effective at raising people's self-esteem and most frequently find that people relate well to you when you do this. You are probably seen as a very sympathetic person who is very prepared to readily support others. You are most likely to commiserate with people who are in difficulty. You have a strong propensity to be diplomatic and also to be sensitive to how you are coming across.
You tend to be able to read others' feelings extremely well and also to make others feel good. You very probably donate significantly to charities or do a significant amount of community work in one way or another. You may also do some form of social service.
ref by Person BB
You will most likely find that you can react to others or situations with strong emotions although you may not show them. You probably find it difficult to control your emotions fully whether it is anger, sadness, passion, or some other emotion. You may well appear to others to be clinical and critical in your approach, and this is likely to make many feel like they are being treated impersonally rather than personally.
Most people will usually tend to feel like you are not good listener and feel that you do not make exceptions for people when you should. The majority of people may even be inclined to feel like you are generally discouraging and unsupportive, and they will often describe you as taking a questioning and goal oriented approach. Therefore many people may see you as distant and find you not too easy to be around.
People most usually feel under-appreciated and misunderstood by you and that you focus too much on the practical side. You are probably very hard on yourself and people may well see you as quite harsh in the way you deal with others too. If you use humour then it may well be sarcastic or misinterpreted and offend others in some way.
You rarely share your own feelings with anyone except perhaps those who are closest to you, or ask about how they are feeling. You may well forget to anticipate the needs of others or to neglect how they might feel. If you try to raise people's self-esteem you may well find that they appear surprised, cynical or detached when you do this. You might perhaps sympathise with other's plight rather than your own, and may often find that others do not seem to fully accept your apologies. This may partly be because your understanding of what empathy really is, or how to construct an empathetic statement, is flawed and most other people probably do not consider you to be an empathetic person. You may appear to be tactless and too direct in how you come across.
You probably find that you have difficulty reading others' feelings and do not make others feel good at times. You are less likely to either donate significantly to charities or to do a great deal of social work.
Reflection: Under what circumstances does your profile (and your EQ profile in particular) look like the profile shown in this Section? Why?
Using the information above, write down what you are now going to start or stop doing: